THE MAIL that took 4-years in coming

THE MAIL that took 4-years in coming
(This is a letter I’ve written to my High School English Teacher with whom I’ve lost all contacts. She’s been very instrumental in shaping my life and was part of a few incidents of my life which have been sort-of turning points in my life and stand out. This letter narrates one of those incidents where I realized that fears can be overcome only by facing them. Running away from them is only delaying the inevitable. Face your fears. Get out of your comfort zone. That’s how you can grow.)

Respected Mam,

This is the most important and special mail I've ever written. I can't tell how badly I was waiting for this moment to arrive so that I could write this mail. It took four years in coming. But as they say, it's better late than never. Here, I would like to give you an account of two pieces of history-- one that almost repeated itself on September 19,2009 and the other that was created at 12 noon on the same date.

Time---- Sometime in September 2005
Venue--- Class 12 A, St. Michael's High School,Patna

I don't remember the exact date but it was in class 12 when one day you made us play a sentence-making game. The game required a student to form sentence from any of the words featuring in the sentence of the student preceding him or her. The moment you announced that we would be playing the game, I was dreading the thought of speaking in front of 60 students. However, I given a breather as by the time the game reached the front row where I was sitting, it was time for the short-recess and the game was to resume and end after the recess break.

I couldn't have let this opportunity slip by. So, I went to the dispensary on the pretext of being unwell and remained there till the end of the period. I tried to support and justify that 'escapist deed' by convincing myself and other that with Class 12 Board exams, round the corner, we couldn't waste our valuable time in playing childish games like that. But the more I gave myself this reason, the more miserable I started feeling as deep down I knew the real reason behind skipping that game was the fear of speaking in public. Actually, I ran away from my fears and was trying to cover up my cowardly act.
But that agony was lessened to some extent just a couple of days later as you asked us to write a poem in English. Though the life-changing poem won me many accolades by you as well as my peers, that cowardly act diluted and overshadowed all the praise I got for my poem. I had to live with that pain, that burden for 4 years before this incident happened which almost saw the 2005 history repeating itself----------

Time--- 12 noon, September 19, 2009
Venue-- Kalindi College, Delhi University, Delhi

We were asked to speak in front of the camera for a minute. This took all of us(30 to be precise) by surprise as our class was already over and none of us saw it coming. This surprise test came almost out of the blue. We were given a 5-minute break to prepare any topic of our choice. I was reminded of the '2005 incident'. The only difference was that of the venue. Almost all things were more or less the same. I almost did a repeat of that as I started heading towards the exit gate of the college. This time I gave myself this excuse that since I was interested in taking up only copywriting and scriptwriting assignments and wanted to make a career only in these fields, even if I skipped the '1-minute talk exercise', I wouldn't be cutting a sorry figure all over again. Besides, I had a meeting with the director of a theatre production house lined up later in the day. But I realised that I was again running away from the situation once again. Before I could realise, i was reliving all those uneasy moments which had been bugging me since that '2005 incident'. I couldn't afford another such 'burden'. I don't know how and from where I got the courage to relieve myself of that unwanted burden once and for ever. I decided to do that '1-minute talk' exercise in front of the camera and a crowd of 30-odd. At the risk of sounding pompous, I did pretty ok. In fact, I was adjudged the best speaker. But for me, more than the reward of being the best speaker, the fact that I spoke and faced my fears, mattered the most. Finally, I defeated my fears. I did not shy away from life and its challenges. And I couldn't think of anybody else other than you to tell all this.
I know I've not scaled the summit of Mount Everest by just speaking in front of the camera and a modest audience of 30 people. But for me, it does mean something. It may not be a big thing but this will surely mark the beginning of something big. I had promised myself that one day I will kick out the unpleasant memories of the '2005 incident' and you would be the 1st and only person I would tell about this.

September 19,2009 turned out to be the day!

Regards,
Chandan(2004-06 Batch)