Saturday, September 19, 2009

THE MAIL that took 4-years in coming

THE MAIL that took 4-years in coming
(This is a letter I’ve written to my High School English Teacher with whom I’ve lost all contacts. She’s been very instrumental in shaping my life and was part of a few incidents of my life which have been sort-of turning points in my life and stand out. This letter narrates one of those incidents where I realized that fears can be overcome only by facing them. Running away from them is only delaying the inevitable. Face your fears. Get out of your comfort zone. That’s how you can grow.)

Respected Mam,

This is the most important and special mail I've ever written. I can't tell how badly I was waiting for this moment to arrive so that I could write this mail. It took four years in coming. But as they say, it's better late than never. Here, I would like to give you an account of two pieces of history-- one that almost repeated itself on September 19,2009 and the other that was created at 12 noon on the same date.

Time---- Sometime in September 2005
Venue--- Class 12 A, St. Michael's High School,Patna

I don't remember the exact date but it was in class 12 when one day you made us play a sentence-making game. The game required a student to form sentence from any of the words featuring in the sentence of the student preceding him or her. The moment you announced that we would be playing the game, I was dreading the thought of speaking in front of 60 students. However, I given a breather as by the time the game reached the front row where I was sitting, it was time for the short-recess and the game was to resume and end after the recess break.

I couldn't have let this opportunity slip by. So, I went to the dispensary on the pretext of being unwell and remained there till the end of the period. I tried to support and justify that 'escapist deed' by convincing myself and other that with Class 12 Board exams, round the corner, we couldn't waste our valuable time in playing childish games like that. But the more I gave myself this reason, the more miserable I started feeling as deep down I knew the real reason behind skipping that game was the fear of speaking in public. Actually, I ran away from my fears and was trying to cover up my cowardly act.
But that agony was lessened to some extent just a couple of days later as you asked us to write a poem in English. Though the life-changing poem won me many accolades by you as well as my peers, that cowardly act diluted and overshadowed all the praise I got for my poem. I had to live with that pain, that burden for 4 years before this incident happened which almost saw the 2005 history repeating itself----------

Time--- 12 noon, September 19, 2009
Venue-- Kalindi College, Delhi University, Delhi


We were asked to speak in front of the camera for a minute. This took all of us(30 to be precise) by surprise as our class was already over and none of us saw it coming. This surprise test came almost out of the blue. We were given a 5-minute break to prepare any topic of our choice. I was reminded of the '2005 incident'. The only difference was that of the venue. Almost all things were more or less the same. I almost did a repeat of that as I started heading towards the exit gate of the college. This time I gave myself this excuse that since I was interested in taking up only copywriting and scriptwriting assignments and wanted to make a career only in these fields, even if I skipped the '1-minute talk exercise', I wouldn't be cutting a sorry figure all over again. Besides, I had a meeting with the director of a theatre production house lined up later in the day. But I realised that I was again running away from the situation once again. Before I could realise, i was reliving all those uneasy moments which had been bugging me since that '2005 incident'. I couldn't afford another such 'burden'. I don't know how and from where I got the courage to relieve myself of that unwanted burden once and for ever. I decided to do that '1-minute talk' exercise in front of the camera and a crowd of 30-odd. At the risk of sounding pompous, I did pretty ok. In fact, I was adjudged the best speaker. But for me, more than the reward of being the best speaker, the fact that I spoke and faced my fears, mattered the most. Finally, I defeated my fears. I did not shy away from life and its challenges. And I couldn't think of anybody else other than you to tell all this.
I know I've not scaled the summit of Mount Everest by just speaking in front of the camera and a modest audience of 30 people. But for me, it does mean something. It may not be a big thing but this will surely mark the beginning of something big. I had promised myself that one day I will kick out the unpleasant memories of the '2005 incident' and you would be the 1st and only person I would tell about this.

September 19,2009 turned out to be the day!

Regards,
Chandan(2004-06 Batch)

Friday, September 11, 2009

Is the Field of Media prerogative of the good-looking people?

11th September, 2009

“ The colour of the skin matters.”

“The Colour of the skin matters boss, for sure.”, stressed he for the second time as we started sipping our coffee.If you haven’t got a hang of the thing I’m talking about, I don’t blame you for we too were perplexed when the above-mentioned statements were uttered.
For those who are trying to find or establish some kind of racism angle to the uttered statements, let me tell you that you are in for a disappointment. So, let me apprise you of the real meaning and context of that statement.

The two statements in question were uttered by one of my classmates from my Video Production Class at Kalindi College, DU. What he intended to say was that in the field of media, the fairer sex,i.e., female always have better and more chances of getting breakthroughs and making it big in he field of media, particularly broadcast media. Among females too, only those blessed with fair-skin(‘milky white’ in his words) stand a chance to get a foot in the door and reach the pinnacle of success in the field of media quicker than others. How wierd, isn't it?

I didn’t second him on any of ‘findings’ or ‘facts’ whatever u like it. What matters is one's attitude, passion and talent. Being good looking may give you some advantage but in the longer run, your talent is what will count and be the strongest driving force as far as reaching the pinnacle of success in the media profession is concerned. Am I living in a fool's paradise?

I was tempted to ask him “ Then what about the males?” or to put it more specifically “What about the not-so-good-looking guys?”
But I stopped short of contradicting and get into an argument with him in public as a similar attempt by one of my classmates had proved to be an exercise in futility.

There were times during our conversation over coffee that I got a feeling that his statements were directed towards me as both times when he uttered his theories, he was literally staring me in my face. Was he trying to say that media is not the apt profession for an average-looking guy like me?

Whatever! But I feel I’m into the right profession and will surely reach where I want to some day.

Anyways, today’s class was not only more productive but I interacted with a few of my classmates also. It was really nice getting to know their career plans; their varied but interesting views on subjects ranging from the inside story of IIPM, a private management institute to the difference or rather the presumed difference between the Indian and American education system/scenario, their present occupation etc.

On the work front, I need to buck up and show some urgency as the first draft of my script, which I want to be made into a short film and send it to a short-film making competition before 30th September, 2009, is still far from completion.

So wish me luck.

More later……………

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Should I or Shouldn't I ?

8th September,2009

Today I got a call from a long-lost college friend. He, too, had moved to Delhi for some business purpose. After blaming each other for not staying in touch with each other all this while(we were talking to each other after almost a year), we briefed each other about our endeavors in Delhi.

He asked me, rather advised me to work in a call centre to meet the expenses of living in a metro like Delhi. Though I was financially quite well off as my family could afford the expenses of my stay in Delhi till February next year, I felt some logic in his point.

It was not about the need, it was about becoming independent and confident. "You must try to look for a job suitable to your interests and career goals, if you not a call centre job.", he told.

Should I try for a part-time job or take my own time in getting used to this city, its people, its lifestyle and then go all out in realising my dreams.I am in a fix. Sometime I feel as if I should listen to the advice of my friend and should go for even a call centre job to make some quick bucks.

But the only hitch to my going for a call centre or for that matter any kind of job is my present engagement with my 3-days a week video production course at Kalindi College,DU which takes up most of my time. Besides, I plan to join a theatre also very soon.I wouldn't be able to juggle so many things at the same time if I do take up some job. Especially when I have the additional burden of doing all the household chores like cooking food, washing utensils and clothes and blah blah blah....The list is endless. So the juggler in me is not yet ready to come to the forefront.

So, how on earth am I going to find time for a job. But in Delhi, finding a part-time media job shouldn't be that much of a difficult task, I suppose.
Anyways, these are still days and I'm in no hurry to entertain such thoughts.

ONE THING AT A TIME.

One viable option could be theatre as I'm not too keen and lack the qualities also to be a TV correspondent/reporter.

Lets see how things shape up in the days to come.
I must wind up this blog post here as now is the time to help my uncle in preparing lunch.

I'll back tomorrow.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

A tale of two contrasting introductions

6th September 2009

As I head towards Laxmi Nagar, sitting in the low-floor DTC bus for the first time , I'm using this opportunity to scribble down a few lines for my blog diary.

A hurried and unplanned visit to the Delhi book fair being held at Pragati Maidan in New Delhi with my friend Manish saw me laying my hands on some interesting books.

Though it emptied my wallet, I have to say that the experience was worth the money.The book fair was far bigger and better than any of the book fairs I've been to till date,not only in terms of scale but quality and range of books available in the book fair.

To start with, I got the novel "Pink or Black" I had been yearning for the last 1-1.5 years. I ended up buying a couple of more interesting fiction novels written by lesser known foreign writers.


It's 2:20 AM at the moment:

I'm at the Laxmi Nagar residence of my childhood friend Abhijeet( he introduced me to his friends as "my neighbour in Patna").

"Yes, I'm his neighbour and he(Abhijjet) is my childhood friend", I replied.

Anyways, after being treated to a well-cooked dinner after quite some time(I use to cook my dinner myself.So for someone who never even served food for himself leave alone the question of cooking the food, it can be anybody's guess how the quality of the food cooked by me would be. Hey, but I'm learning fast and know how to cook rice and 'aaloo bhujia".).

I took this opportunity to catch up with Abhijeet and his roommates who were pursuing their CA course in Delhi.

All others have gone to sleep. Shashank,with whom I bonded really well though it was the first time I was ever talking to him, has also gone to sleep 10 minutes ago. But sleep is far from my eyes, That's why I'm writing this blog piece at this untimely hour. Here I want to talk about Shashank.

Though I've known Shashank since our 10+2 days during which he used to come to Abhijeet's place on his scooty, it was the 1st time I was having a one-to-one interaction with him and getting to know each other from close quarters. We chatted all through the night before Abhijeet threatened to knock us off the house if we didn't stop chatting and go to sleep. But we continued, though in hushed tones. Shashank seemed very interested im my creative works and life anecdotes which I was more than glad to share with anybody at any time of the day.

How strange life can be! Here I was having a person in Shashank who wanted to know more and more about my career plans, my ideas, my interests and on the other hand I had a childhood friend who introduces me as his "neighbour" and never seemed even half interested and involved in my life compared to Shashank.

But again, I realise that it's perfectly fine. Had Abhijeet and I not been so different, we wouldn't have been this close buddies.

This feeling/point is perfectly expressed in one of the SMSes, which I received today. It says " The world's most happiest friends never have the same characters. They just have the best understanding of their differences."

How True! so, let's celebrate our differences.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

An unpardonable crime called "plans to join theatre"

5th September, 2009

The 2nd day of my video production class coincided with the Teacher's Day. But before I get into the details of the events that unfolded in the college, let me share with you the details of an important event that preceded my 2nd day class on the same day.

I,along with my uncle. happened to pay one of our relatives pay a visit in South Delhi.We were greeted with an idli-lookalike dish. I must mention here that it was pretty ok contrary to the experiences I've had during my month-long stay there in May earlier this year. Anyways, I'll not get into the details of that. Let me get to the point quickly. After being treated to that unusual breakfast, we sat down for a bit of chit-chat. The relative started asking me about the video production course I was pursuing. during the course of our conversation, he asked me how do I spend my off-days(as my course requires me to go the college only thrice a week).

Telling him about my novel and story writing tasks would have invited, which I was absolutely sure of, some very discouraging,disapproving and ugly reactions. So, I tried to play it safe and told him that I was investing in myself by trying to hone my journalistic skills by practicing writing news reports for the print and broadcast media.

"Huh. what news reports and all that crap", pat came this uglier and more disapproving reaction from him.

"Try to get some freelance work in the local news channels.Don't waste time sitting at home and practising writing news. Approach the news channels and tell them that you want to work for them even for free.", continued he giving his free, unwanted,unasked and impractical advice. Which news channel or for that matter any media organisation would keep me if I can't perform my duties to perfection. And perfection can be attained only by practice.By practising writing news reports I'm giving myself an opportunity to improve upon my language and writing skills. I ask you is that a wastage of time and energy?

"Yes, yes. I've applied in a theatre production house for a scriptwriting internship.........", said I hoping to get an appreciative reaction but was cut short by him.

"What? Have you lost it or what? theatre? Go and see those 'mad' people in the evenings at the National School of Drama or even Mandi House. Everyone there considers himself an 'artist'. They just grow their beard long;don an 'artist' outlook and consider themselves 'artists'. You want to be one of those eccentric fellows? Forget all those things and just concentrate on landing a job in the news and/or print channels.",came these expert opinions from him.

It would be an understatement if I say I was pissed off by his 'muft ka gyaan' and mashwara' and more so by the scant respect he showed for theatre and theatre persons.
But as I've had too many altercations with him already in the past which had strained his relationship with my family to some extent, I had received a diktat from my family not to get into any kind of argument with him or any of his family members.

CUT TO THE VIDEO PRODUCTION CLASS PROCEEDINGS:

My 2nd day in my video production class turned out to be better than the 1st day. I participated more in the class, at times taking initiatives to clear off doubts of my classmates(of course with the permission of the teacher) on the topics I had good knowledge and/or working experience of. It was duly acknowledged by the teacher too, who,as luck would have it, was a Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan(BVB) alumni---the same institution which I had rejected for some ethical reasons even after getting through the entrance test and news reading audition conducted by the institute. After inquiring her about BVB, I thanked my stars for not letting me into the trap of BVB, which wasn't upto scratch and was a classic case of high on gloss and low on content---exactly the way I had suspected.

Anyways, life seems to be back on track again and I'm getting a gut feeling that this course would prove to be very beneficial for me and joining this course was the best thing that could have happened with me after I ran out of luck in the various mass media entrance exams I undertook.

THANK GOD FOR EVERY BLESSING YOU'VE BESTOWED UPON ME!

Friday, September 4, 2009

A Good Beginning is Half the job done......... But did I begin well?

4th September, 2009.

It was my 1st day at the Video Production Class at Kalindi College, Delhi University. Needless to say, I was nervous as hell thanks to my apprehensions about how an average looking(some people may object to the usage of the word 'average' and may recommend adding the suffix 'below' to the word 'average') guy like me would survive and thrive in a fashion-laden city like New Delhi.

But as my 1st class started progressing, my nervousness and apprehensiveness eased a bit. The attendance wore a thin look as there were only 13 students present in the class(Here again some people may scoff at using the number '13' as thanks to my ultra-thin and skinny body structure, I'm seldom referred as 'one'.). May be that(the small number of students) helped in easing out my nerves. A young lady(M'aam would be a more suitable word!) assigned to teach us some parts of our course took up the topic of "Idea Development & Story Analysis of a movie/programme" much to my liking. Though it was my 1st class as I had joined the classes a week later after its commencement, I was at ease and actively participated in the class.

Later in the day, as expected, I was bombarded with the same expected answer for which I had a tailor-made answer. The boring question was " How was your first class?". All I could come up with was this----" Hmmm....... well, it was neither too great nor a big let-down. It was ok. Anyways, these are still early days. let's see how it pans out in the time to come.". To be very honest, it was really just 'ok' which I had not expected. I expected much from a university of that huge stature and reputation. But the quality of teaching wasn't upto scratch. The teacher didn't look to have a firm hold on the topics she was taking up as she too was wet behind the ears(young and inexperienced) as she had completed her diploma in mass communication only last year.

However, one bright spot in the class was one important advice given to her by the teacher to all those having a penchant for scriptwriting: NEVER PITCH or SUBMIT YOUR COMPLETE STORY TO THE PRODUCER/PRODUCTION HOUSE YOU APPROACH. KEEP THE CLIMAX OF THE STORY OPEN AND SUBMIT THE COMPLETE SCRIPT ONLY AT LATER STAGES WHEN CONTACTED BY THE PRODUCTION HOUSES. AND YES IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT SUBMIT YOUR WORK ONLY AFTER GETTING IT COPYRIGHT.

The timing of this advice couldn't have been better as I've a meeting lined up with the director of a theatre production house soon. Let's see how it goes.

A new phase of life has begun today. Though the start was not spectacular, I hope it gets bigger and better in the days to come.

As I wrap up this blog post, I want to thank God for taking care of me and my friends and family and ensuring that nothing sinister happened to them.

May the world becomes a more happy and peaceful place to live in.